i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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