Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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