R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
