I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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