shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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