would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize