my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
