Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
wanna go halves on a baby?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
