he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
