so that wasnt chicken after all
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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