who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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