no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
