I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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