lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
