is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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