All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
