How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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