i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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