i think i have herpe
just one?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
