if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
