but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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