Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
