haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
