dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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