Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
She said her name was "party"
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
