shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
