we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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