I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just got carded by a ten year old.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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