i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Someone shit on the floor
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
time to smoke my breakfast
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Randomize
