Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
