pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
