i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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