Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
We need a shit load of segways right now
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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