Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
