hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
All the doctor said was why
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
