Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Randomize
