So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
