whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
