I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
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