Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
