come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Did I show you my penis last night?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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