she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
