Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
