I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize