Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just found puke in my bra..
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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