I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
