He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
My dad just said "fuck circus"
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
