physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Randomize
