Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
