She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
