i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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