i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
don't judge my taste in strippers
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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