I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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