it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
