Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
