his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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