i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
