I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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