Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
