i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Farmville is her only friend.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
