U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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