look no pants
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
