What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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