Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
