how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
