i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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